Barbarian Blitz: Stilicho's Bitter Victory or Rome's New Resource?

A perspective from Gossipia Gladiatrix, your favorite progressive voice in the Eternal City

Salvete, fellow Romans! Today we're going to chat about a topic hotter than a heated bath in the August sun: Stilicho's latest... er... 'victory'. Yes, folks, we're diving into the Barbarian Blitz, the Visigothic-tinged extravaganza that has left our empire in quite the state.

Let's be real. We're as resilient as a lowly pleb's flip-flop on the Appian Way, but even our Roman resolve is bending under the weight of this conflict. Stilicho, our dear half-Vandal, half-Roman magister militum, led us to a Pyrrhic victory.

And by Pyrrhic victory, I mean that in the way that our dear friend and fellow meddler in politics, Pyrrhus, might say, "Another such victory and we are undone."

But enough of this chitter-chatter. Let's get down to business, shall we?

It's time we face the facts and realize that these 'barbarians' are not just a threat, but a resource waiting to be harnessed. We Romans can be a bit stubborn, stuck in our ways like a mule in a vineyard, but it's high time we learn to adapt. The empire wasn't built in a day, after all.

And by Jupiter's beard, if we can build aqueducts that make water run uphill, then we can surely make good use of our Visigothic friends!

Remember, people, these are not just "barbarians" — they're humans with a culture and history as rich as our wine and as varied as the wares in the market at Ostia. They're not monsters at the gate — they're potential allies, potential soldiers, potential builders for our grand empire!

Yes, you heard it right, folks. Embrace and integrate, don't alienate.

It seems Stilicho, that half-barbarian himself, may be onto something (strange things do happen!). Imagine the potential of an empire where the contributions of all are valued, regardless of whether they come from Rome, Gaul, or even the land of the Visigoths.

So, let's not waste any more time wagging our tongues in the Forum. We have the opportunity to turn this bitter victory into a new resource, a new strength for our empire. Let's flip the script and turn this Barbarian Blitz into a Roman Renaissance.

Let's not be like old Cato the Elder, stuck in his ways and droning on about destroying Carthage. Let's be innovative, inclusive, and open to new possibilities. After all, isn't that what the Eternal City is all about?

Sal