Barbarians at Gates: Rome's Survival or Foreign Fatal Embrace?

24th May 410 AD - A Day of Reckoning?

Ladies and Gentlemen, buckle up your togas, for we're in for a wild chariot ride. The city of Rome, our beloved Caput Mundi, stands at a precipice. The barbarians - those uncultured, unrefined, and frankly, unRoman tribes from the north - are knocking at the gates. And I don't mean for a friendly cup of wine and some olives. They've come with swords, spears, and a bad case of manners that would make Attila the Hun look like a Vestal Virgin.

Some, in their infinite wisdom (I use this term loosely), suggest we should embrace these barbarians. Open the gates, they say. Let them share in the Roman way of life. Perhaps they might even learn to use a fork, they jest.

Well, I tell you, dear readers, we might as well invite a pack of rabid wolves into our children’s nursery. I mean, who wouldn't want a furry, blood-thirsty playmate for little Gaius and Livia?

Now, I am no prophet nor am I a Delphic oracle. I am just a simple Roman who loves his baths hot, his wine plentiful, and his city un-pillaged.

Our forefathers, those who wore the toga with pride, who built this city brick by brick, who turned Rome from a humble village into the greatest empire the world has ever seen, wouldn't think twice about these uncouth barbarians. They'd tell them to take a long walk off a short Appian Way.

Yet, here we are, contemplating whether to open our doors to these brutes. What would Julius Caesar say, I wonder? Probably something along the lines of "Et tu, Rome?" And by Jupiter, he would be right.

It's high time we remembered what it means to be Roman. We didn't build this city on bread and circuses alone. Rome was built on courage, on fortitude, on the sweat and blood of true Romans!

So, should we embrace these barbarians or fight for our survival? The answer, my fellow Romans, is as clear as our pristine aqueducts. If we want Rome to survive, to prosper, to continue being the beacon of civilization in this mad, mad world, we cannot afford a foreign fatal embrace.

Stand tall, stand proud, and most importantly, stand Roman. And if anyone disagrees, kindly tell them to go and love their barbarians somewhere else.

Yours in Roman virtue,

Clickbaiticus Historius

Author of 'Plebs Today'