Caligula's Folly: A Goddess Born of Scandal and Favoritism?

Salve, fellow Romans. The news today is enough to make even a stoic raise an eyebrow. Emperor Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus, or as he's more fondly known, Caligula, has declared his sister, Drusilla, a goddess. Yes, you heard me right—a goddess.

Now, I've heard of sibling rivalry, but this is something else entirely. Perhaps Caligula is simply trying to one-up his ancestor Julius Caesar, who only went as far as deifying his adoptive son, Augustus. But a sister? Really, Caligula?

It's not that I have anything against Drusilla. By all accounts, she's a charming woman, but a goddess? I'm afraid the laurels may be cutting off circulation to our dear emperor's head. We've all heard the rumors of Caligula's... shall we say, excessive affection for his sister, but to declare her a goddess? It's enough to make even Bacchus blush.

I can't help but question the decision-making process. Are we now in the business of deifying the relatives of emperors? If that's the case, I'd like to formally nominate my own dear Aunt Minerva for the job. Granted, her most divine act is making a rather tasty amphora of wine, but at least she's never paraded around the palace in a gold dress and a crown.

And what of traditional Roman values? Our forefathers founded this great city with honor, strength, and good old-fashioned elbow grease. They didn't need to declare themselves gods, because their actions spoke volumes. The deities of Rome are a respected pantheon earned by merit, not familial ties or favoritism.

What's next, Caligula? A horse in the Senate? Let's keep our togas on, shall we?

Perhaps this is just a symptom of a larger problem. After all, we've been seeing more and more foreign influences creeping into our culture lately, haven't we? With Caligula's fondness for all things Hellenistic, it's not surprising that he's begun to adopt their more outrageous customs as well.

Fellow Romans, I implore you, let's not lose sight of our traditional Roman values in the face of such outlandish displays. We are a people of honor, of valor, of strength. We don't need to declare ourselves gods or goddesses to prove our worth.

In the end, Drusilla is no more a goddess than my horse is a senator. And Caligula? Well, he's proving to be as unpredictable as a Bacchanalia after sundown.

Ah, to be a fly on the wall in the Senate tomorrow. I imagine there will be quite a bit of eye-rolling. And perhaps a few surre