Divided We Stand: Constantine's Sons and the Tripartite Empire

Divided We Stand: Constantine's Sons and the Tripartite Empire

Salve, fellow Romans! It's me, Gossipia Gladiatrix, here to unravel the latest episode of what I like to call ‘Keeping up with the Constantines'. The time has come to talk about our Empire - not just any empire, but a Tripartite one. Yes, you heard it right. We're now a three-course meal!

Before I continue, let's pour one out for Constantine the Great. His reign, questionable as it was, did unify us under one banner. If we could collectively survive that, we can survive anything. But just when we thought we could catch our breath, his sons have turned the Roman Empire into a three-ring circus.

Why, you ask? Because Constantine III, Constans, and Constantius II have decided that splitting the Empire, like a loaf of panis quadratus at a cena, amongst themselves is the best idea. So now we have Constantine in Britannia and Gallia, Constans ruling over Italia, Africa, and Illyricum, and finally, Constantius in the East. I mean, who needs the simplicity of a single ruler when you can have a trio of emperors instead?

Here's the fun bit, though. Each of them thinks they've got the best part of the empire. Cue laughter. It's like watching three kids argue over who gets the biggest slice of honey cake. Like, really?

Now don't get me wrong, sharing is caring and all that jazz, but this is the Roman Empire we're talking about, not a play-date at the Colosseum. And who are we to argue? We're just the common folk getting caught up in this imperial sibling rivalry.

But wait, there's more. As if dividing the empire wasn't enough, the brothers have also decided that they each get to have their own religious policies. Yup, because what we need right now is more religious divisiveness. Because, you know, switching to Christianity under Constantine the Great was as smooth as the Tiber during a flood.

So here we are, fellow Romans. We stand divided, yet united. Three emperors, three parts of the empire, each with their own flavor of governance and religion. It's like we're on the menu at a fancy banquet, and the guests are the brothers Constantine.

Divided we stand, but stand we will. We've faced tyrants, invasions, and divine wrath (remember that time Jupiter got angry because we ran out of wine?), and we came out stronger. So here's to the Tripartite Empire - may the odds be ever in our favor.

Until next time, Roma Invicta!

Gossipia Gladiatrix