Icons Regain Glory: Divine Art Triumphs over Byzantine Barbarism!

Gossipia Gladiatrix, Opinion

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Rome, c. 842 CE

Ladies, Gentlemen, Plebeians, and Patricians, gather around your local papyrus press or tablet, for today we celebrate a triumph for divine art, for our culture, and for our shared values as Romans. The headline screams, "Icons Regain Glory: Divine Art Triumphs over Byzantine Barbarism!" and folks, it's not a false alarm. We've got our icons back, and it's about time!

Let's start with some background, shall we? For our dear readers who have been living under a marble slab for the past century or so, a brief recap of our historical drama. We've been living under the shadow of the oppressive Byzantine iconoclasts. These philistines, straight out of the East, have been attacking our beautiful, divine icons. They've been smashing, defacing, and in the worst instances, utterly destroying works of art that are not just beautiful but intrinsically Roman!

But no more! The news has arrived, and it's the best we've heard since Caesar decided to take a day off from his conquests. The Second Council of Nicaea has finally ruled in favor of the veneration of icons. Take a moment, dear reader. Breathe it in. Our culture, our heritage, has regained its glory. The icons we hold dear, the ones that have been under threat, are safe once more.

We've witnessed a triumph over Byzantine art-vandals, much like David over Goliath, or more aptly, Romulus over Remus. Except, our Remus was an army of art-hating Byzantines, and our David was, well, all of us.

And isn't that just the most Roman thing you've ever heard? We're a civilization built on the backs of hardworking plebeians, supported by the wisdom of the Patricians, and inspired by the beauty of divine art. We fight for what matters to us, tooth, nail, and gladius.

But let's not forget, this win is not just for our icons. It's for our values. It's an affirmation that we won't allow foreign powers to determine what is and isn't a part of our culture. It's a reminder that we are, at our core, the Rome of old. Strong, resilient, and absolutely fabulous.

So, Romans, let's celebrate this victory. Let's raise a goblet (or two) to the divine art that graces our homes and temples. Let's revel in the fact that our icons are no longer under threat, but have regained their rightful glory. After all, if we Romans know one thing, it's how to throw a triumphant party.

Just remember, as we toast to our