Icons Triumph: Nicaea's Folly or Rome's Impending Doom?

Icons Triumph: Nicaea's Folly or Rome's Impending Doom?

By Clickbaiticus Historius

ROME, 787 AD - Well, my dear Romans, it seems our beloved Senate has taken a lunch break from their bread and circuses, to finally get down to some real business, such as deciding our cultural fate. The Council of Nicaea, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that religious icons can now be venerated.

Yes, you read that correctly. The same folks who couldn't agree on a simple thing like the divinity of Christ a few centuries ago have now turned their attention to redefining our sacred traditions. I suppose when you're sat in your ivory towers in Byzantium, far removed from the hustle-bustle of the Colosseum or the grandeur of the Pantheon, such decisions come easy.

Let's break this down: They want us – proud, stoic Romans – to worship at the feet of graven images. Never mind our deep-rooted traditions, the virtues of simplicity, our respect for the spoken word, and our abhorrence of idolatry. No, they'd rather see us bowing before a mosaic of Saint Peter than upholding the stern but fair justice of Jupiter.

And who's to blame for this nonsense? The East, of course. Those Greeks and their love for a good painting. I suppose when your greatest contribution to civilization is a naked boy throwing a discus, you'll take your victories where you can. But imposing your vision of spirituality on us? That's a step too far, even for them.

Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not against change. But there's change, and then there's a sledgehammer to the face of our culture. It's like replacing the proud, roaring lion with a docile kitten because it's more "inoffensive".

Rome has stood for centuries, not because we bend to every passing wind, but because we stand firm on our values. We are Romans: our strength drawn from the eagle, our wisdom from the owl, our courage from the boar. And yet, they want to replace these symbols with... what? A lamb? Is there anything less Roman than a lamb?

But let's not despair, my fellow Romans. This isn't the end, but a call to arms! An opportunity to show our resilience, to reaffirm our Roman-ness. Let them venerate their icons. We will maintain our traditions, as steady as the Tiber and as immovable as the mountains.

Remember, we are the descendants of Romulus. We have stared down the likes of Hannibal, Attila, and even the damned Visigoths. A few paintings aren't going to bring us down. So let's raise a glass to Nicaea's folly – it's but a mere blip in the epic saga