Peaceful Prosperity or Motherly Meddling?

Clickbaiticus Historius | Published February 26, 27 B.C.E

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ROME - As a Roman, we all are brought up to believe in the virtues of strength, honor, and self-reliance. But these days, it seems we've traded our swords for scrolls, and our shields for shekels. All thanks to our dear Emperor Augustus and his grand "Pax Romana" project.

You'd be forgiven for thinking Pax Romana is a delightful new variety of wine. Sadly, it's not the case. This is Augustus' latest offering, a vision of "peaceful prosperity". Though it sounds alluring, I smell something fishy. And it's not yesterday's mackerel supper, I assure you.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for peace. But a peace that demands we forfeit our martial prowess, our Roman spirits? That's more than a tad too costly.

Now, Augustus has had his moments, I'll give him that. Rome hasn't looked this good since Romulus and Remus had their little spat. But this idea, this Pax Romana, it's not Roman. It's downright motherly!

Motherly, you say? Absolutely. It's as if we're being told: "Kids, put down your gladius, pick up a lyre, and let's all sing 'Kumbaya' under the olive trees." Not exactly the scene I envisioned when I think of the Roman Empire.

You see, while we've been gorging ourselves on imported delicacies and lounging in our newly renovated villas, the barbarians at our gates have been watching. They've seen us swap our strength for silks, and they're just waiting for the right moment to strike.

But hey, who am I to dampen the party? Let's just hope those silks can withstand the chill of a Germanic winter, eh?

The truth is, Rome didn't become the most powerful city in the world through peace and prosperity alone. It was built on the back of the wolf, with might and mettle. As we embrace this Pax Romana, let's not forget our roots, our strength.

So here's to peaceful prosperity! May it bring us all the foreign silks we desire. And when those barbarians come knocking, perhaps we can just talk it out over a nice cup of wine. After all, who needs a gladius when you have a fancy toga, right?

But in the end, it's your choice, dear Romans. Do we cling to the peace and prosperity Augustus promises, or do we keep our Roman spirit alive? I know where I stand. How about you?

I'm Clickbaiticus Historius, and this is my piece. I'm off to polish my gladius. You never