Plancus: The Survivalist Senator who Sculpted Lyon's Legacy

The Man, The Myth, The Sculptor - Oh My!

By Gossipia Gladiatrix

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The year is 43 BC, and we're in the middle of the Roman republic. But don’t let the republic fool you. You'd think that we'd be a democracy but we're more like an oligarchy. And by oligarchy, I mean a few rich, powerful men ruling the roost while the rest of us are playing catch-up. Sound familiar? Yes, it's business as usual in Rome.

One man who's risen above this mire is our boy Lucius Munatius Plancus. You may know him as the survivalist senator, or the sculptor of Lyon's legacy. Now, I'm not one to shy away from calling out our leaders, but if we're keeping it real, Plancus has done some good.

He's the senator who got his hands dirty, literally. Plancus is the infamous founder of Lugdunum, which you may know as Lyon. To our Gaulish friends, that's the shining beacon of civilization in what might otherwise have been referred to as, well, not-Rome.

For all the disagreements I might have with the man (and believe me, there are a few), credit where credit's due. The guy has a knack for thinking outside the box. Who else could have turned a hill in Gaul into a bustling city, the jewel of the west?

Now, Plancus isn't your typical senator. He's more like a political cockroach - surviving every disaster and emerging stronger than before. He's survived the assassinations of Julius Caesar, the proscriptions of the Second Triumvirate, and the political rollercoaster that is our senate. He's survived more plots than a soap opera!

But let's not forget that Plancus is also a keen strategist. The man knows how to play the field. He shifted allegiances faster than a hot cake vendor sells his last cake! From Caesar to Antony and then to Octavian, he's been there, done that, and no doubt, got the toga.

And how can we talk about Plancus and not mention his role in the Battle of Philippi? The man showed up as an unlikely hero and played a crucial part in securing victory for Antony and Octavian. It's almost like he's got a sixth sense for winning teams.

Now here's where things get a bit iffy for me. While it's impressive to survive in our cutthroat political climate, I can't help but question the methods. Plancus is a survivor, yes. But at what cost? The shifting allegiances and the endless game playing can be a bit... exhausting.

In a perfect scenario, I'd like to see our leaders show a bit more commitment to a cause, rather