Rome Rocked: Avitus Flees, Ricimer's Coup Shakes Foundations!

The Power Shift That Has Romans Asking, "Where's The Republic When You Need It?"

Rome, November 17, 456 AD.

In a twist of events that could make a gladiator blush, Emperor Avitus got the boot and the barbarian general Ricimer, in his own words, "made Roma great again." Quite literally, as Avitus had to flee the city under the cover of darkness. Who'd have thought the emperor of the greatest empire on Earth would one day sneak out like a guilty lover after a tryst?

We often hear the expression, "when in Rome," but apparently, Avitus didn't get the memo. The emperor, rather fond of importing his Gallic countrymen and their rather foreign ways, found himself at odds with the Roman elite. A little advice to the next emperor: when in Rome, do as the Romans do. A lesson Avitus learnt the hard way.

Now Ricimer, stepping into the spotlight, has played his hand masterfully, manipulating his way into power. He is much like the crafty fox in Aesop's fables, and we, the Romans, are the unsuspecting grapes. Is this what we've come to? A barbarian pulling our strings?

The Senate, in a move as surprising as a thunderstorm in April, has declared Majorian as the new emperor. But who's to say for how long? If the past few years have taught us anything, it's that the imperial throne has become a high stakes game of musical chairs. The only thing missing is the lyre music.

Despite the turmoil, one thing remains constant – the resilience of Rome. Much like our beloved Coliseum, we may have cracks and chips, but we stand tall, steadfast and proud. Rome will endure, as she always has.

In the meantime, dear Romans, keep your togas close and your swords closer. The future is as uncertain as a day without wine, but remember, carpe diem! After all, we are Romans, not barbarians! So as the sun sets on Avitus's reign, let's raise our amphorae and toast to the tumultuous future. May we survive it in true Roman style.

Clickbaiticus Historius, reporting from the heart of Rome, where the past is a prologue and the future is a farce.