Will Apollo's Temple Become Rome's Biggest Trojan Horse?

By Clickbaiticus Historius

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Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears! It appears the green-eyed monster of foreign influence has reared its ugly head yet again. I'm speaking, of course, about the construction of the new Temple of Apollo. It's all the chatter at the Forum these days, isn't it? "Oh, how grand!", "What a marvel!", "Isn't Apollo splendid?" But let's cut the garum and get straight to the point, shall we?

We need to ask ourselves, is this temple really a divine gift to Rome, or a Trojan Horse cloaked in marble and gold?

Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against Apollo. Good chap, I dare say. He's got the sun and music in his portfolio - both are quite essential for our wine-soaked parties. But isn't it a bit suspicious? Apollo, a Greek god, getting a grand temple in the heart of Rome.

It's 28 BC, and suddenly we're all about Apollo? Isn't that a bit like finding a Greek spear in your gladiator's kit? It just doesn't sit right.

Now, my dear readers, I'm not saying we should burn the temple down. Let's not be hasty and end up like Nero – playing the lyre while Rome smokes. What I'm suggesting is a healthy dose of skepticism.

You see, these Greeks, they're crafty. They've seen our greatness, our imperial might, our luxurious togas, and they want a piece of the action. So, they've sent us this 'gift', a grand temple, covered in all the gold and marble a senator could dream of. But don't be fooled, dear Romans! Remember the tale of the original Trojan Horse? It looked like a gift, but it was full of Greeks!

Isn't it ironic that Apollo, the god of prophecy, didn't see this controversy coming? Or maybe he did, and he's chuckling in Olympus right now, sipping ambrosia and watching us squabble.

Let's not forget, we're Romans; sons and daughters of Mars, the people who built the Colosseum, the masters of the Mediterranean. We don't need Greek temples to validate us. As the poet Virgil might put it, "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts."

In conclusion, my dear readers, keep your eyes peeled, your ears to the ground, and your sceptre close at hand. The Temple of Apollo may not be a Trojan Horse, but we Romans didn't get to where we are by just trusting every shiny gift from foreign lands. We got here by questioning, debating, and yes, occasionally, by throwing the odd Greek out of the senate.

So, let's