379 CE: Emperor Gratian's Savage Purge of Heretics Revealed!

The Juicy Deets on the Emperor's "Spring Cleaning"

The Year: 379 CE. The Place: Ancient Rome. The Drama: Off the Charts!

Roll up, roll up, ladies and gents, grab your clay tablets, feathered quills, and inkpots because boy, do we have a story for you! Fresh off the streets of Ancient Rome, 379 CE, we're bringing you all the hot goss on Emperor Gratian's latest antics – and let me tell you, it's not just the summer sun that's been scorching hot this year.

Gratian: The Young Emperor with a Big Axe to Grind

First, let's give you the lowdown on our main man, Gratian. Young, dashing, and with a penchant for purple togas, this lad's been ruling the roost since 367 CE. But don't let that charming smile fool you; beneath those boyish good looks lies a mind sharper than a gladiator's sword and the determination of a legionnaire charging into battle.

No Room for Heretics in Gratian's Crib

But the big news we're all buzzing about? Gratian's had enough of the heretics. Now, for those uninitiated in the religious hullabaloo that often sweeps our fair city, a 'heretic' is anyone who doesn't toe the line when it comes to the Christian faith. And as any Roman worth their salt knows, Christianity has been all the rage since our dear departed Emperor Constantine gave it his holy thumbs-up back in the good old days.

Gratian, ever the loyal follower, has decided that he's had enough of these heretics muddying up his Christian Empire's waters. Therefore, he's gone and declared all heretics persona non grata, which in layman terms can be roughly translated as "get the heck out of my empire."

The Purge: No Holds Barred

But here's where things get spicey: Gratian isn't just banishing these religious rebels; oh, no! In true Roman fashion, he's making it a spectacle. He's rounding up the heretics and giving them a one-way ticket out of the empire.

Roman Affairs: Yeah, It's Complicated

Now, we know what you're thinking: "But my dear Roman journalist, isn't this a bit harsh?" Well, you'd be right, but nobody ever said life in the Roman Empire was a walk in the park. Gratian's determined to keep the peace, and if that means ousting a few heretics, then so be it.

The Aftermath: Rome, Reeling and Rejuvenated

So, there you have it, folks. The streets of Rome, once teeming with diverse religious debates, are now a little quieter, a little less colourful perhaps. But for better or worse, they're a tad more unified as well.

And Gratian? Well, he's back in his palace, probably planning his next big move. So keep those eyes peeled and the ears to the ground because in Rome, as we all know, the drama never sleeps. Stay tuned for more as we navigate this wild, Roman ride together!