424 AD: Theodosius II Crowns Cousin Valentinian III, Mum Galla Rules West!

13th October, 424 AD, Eternal City

A Family Affair

Well, fellow Romans, grab your grape-stuffed olives and saddle up your chariots, because you won't believe what's happening in the heart of the Empire. In a twist of events, Theodosius II, our beloved purple-clad Eastern Roman Emperor, has just placed the golden crown on the youthful brow of his cousin, Valentinian III. Talk about "keeping it in the family", amirite?

A Kid on the Throne?

But let's get real here: Valentinian is only six years old. I don't know about you, but when I was six, the most ruling I did was over my pet mice, Romulus and Remus. This lad, though, he's not playing at running a sandal shop in the Forum. Nope, he's now got the entire Western Roman Empire under his tiny thumb!

Mummy Dearest: Galla Placidia

You might be wondering who's going to hold the reins while little Valentinian gets through his ABCs (or should I say, Aleph-Beth-Gimels?). Well, worry not, fellow Romans. Valentinian's mum, the indomitable Galla Placidia, is stepping up to the plate. She's been managing the West since her hubby, Emperor Constantius III, passed away last year.

Now, with her little one on the throne, she's got the power to rule directly, and believe you me, she's not to be messed with. This lady has a track record of staring down barbarians and winning. So, Attila the Hun, if you're reading this, you'd better think twice before messing with our Galla!

A New Age Dawns

So, this is it, fellow Romans. A new age is upon us. It's an age where the young rule and the mums manage empires while we, the common folk, get to stuff our faces with dormice at the local thermopolium. What a time to be a Roman! Only in our glorious city could such a spectacle unfold. So, let's raise a cup of the finest Falernian wine to our young Emperor Valentinian III and his power-mum, Galla Placidia. May their reign be as enduring as our magnificent Colosseum!

Tune in tomorrow for more juicy gossip mixed with hard facts from the heart of the Empire - because who said news couldn't be fun?

Valete Omnes! (Farewell, Everyone!)