456 A.D Shock: Ricimer's Rebellion, Avitus' Downfall and Dramatic Escape!
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By Quotius Factius.- a long, long time ago.
15th October, 456 A.D
Dateline Roma — Ancient Rome has been rocked yet again with another upheaval that has sent shockwaves through our fair city. This is the one we'll all be telling our grandchildren about, folks! So grab your amphorae, fill them with your favourite wine and buckle up.
Ricimer's Rebellion: The Power Behind the Throne!
In a twist that would make the most seasoned playwright drop his quill, the man who seemed just yesterday to be propping up the Emperor's throne has turned his back on his old pal. That's right, folks, Ricimer, our 'master of soldiers', has turned his coat and is leading a rebellion against Avitus!
The message is loud and clear: Ricimer has enough of playing second fiddle and is aiming for the big chair. This guy doesn't just want to be the puppeteer, he wants to be the damn puppet AND the stage! This man's ambition knows no bounds. One day you're the power behind the throne, the next day you're rocking the boat. I guess you can have your cake and eat it too!
Avitus' Downfall: From Emperor to Exile
And what of our dear Emperor Avitus? All that glitters isn't gold, and the Emperor's seat is apparently not as comfy as it looks. Avitus has been unseated and sent packing. Talk about a fall from grace! One minute you're the ruler of Roma, the next you're booking a one-way trip out of town.
But let's give credit where credit is due. Avitus didn't go quietly into the night. In fact, he made such a dramatic escape that even Hercules would have had a tough time keeping up. Rumour has it that he took off his Imperial robes, slipped into the crowd and made a run for it. Now that's what I call an exit!
What's Next for Rome?
So, where does this leave us? Well, in the hands of Ricimer for now. But if there's one thing we Romans know, it's that nothing is permanent, especially when it comes to power!
Stay tuned, fellow citizens, because this story is far from over. The Roman Empire has seen many rises and falls, and it's safe to say we haven't seen the last of the drama.
In the meantime, let's raise our goblets and say a toast: "To the next big thing!" Because in this town, you never know who's going to rise, who's going to fall, and who's going to make a run for it in their underwear.
Salve, Roma!
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