461 CE Shock: Emperor Majorian Gruesomely Beheaded by Ruthless Rimier!

You won't believe what went down in Rome yesterday, folks. An emperor was beheaded! But not just any emperor — we're talking Majorian, the last great hope of the Western Roman Empire.

The Downfall of Majorian

Let me spill the imperial tea for you. It all started when Majorian, a military bigwig, became a puppet emperor for the real powerhouse, Generalissimo Ricimer. He was the puppeteer pulling Majorian's strings, and boy, did those strings get tangled.

On August 2, 461 CE, Ricimer and Majorian were on their way to deal with the Vandals. You know, those uncouth barbarians who've been vandalizing our empire? Yeah, those guys. But plot twist, Ricimer decided to flip the script.

In an ambush straight out of a dramatic telenovela, Ricimer arrested Majorian near the city of Tortona. He accused the emperor of conspiring with the Vandals. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you. Majorian, who until yesterday was the shining beacon of Rome, was stripped of his glory faster than you can say "Veni, Vidi, Vici."

Ricimer's Ruthlessness

After a few days in captivity, on August 7, 461 CE, Majorian met a grisly end. He was brutally beheaded by his supposed friend and ally. "Et tu, Ricimer?" I imagine he thought, as the blade came down.

Ricimer was notoriously ruthless. But beheading Majorian? That's next-level, even for him. Talk about axe-cidents waiting to happen. But, in Ricimer's defense, we've all got a head to lose, and Majorian's just happened to be on the chopping block first.

A Grave New World

So, what does this mean for Rome? Well, it's a grave new world, folks. Majorian was the last ruler of the Western Roman Empire who tried to restore it to its past glory. And now? Well, it could all go downhill from here.

The empire is teetering on the brink, and with Majorian out of the picture, the vultures are circling. I mean, who's going to stop the Vandals now? Certainly not Ricimer. The man couldn't stop a beheading if it was happening right under his nose.

So, buckle up, Romans. We're in for a bumpy ride. And remember, keep your friends close, but your generals closer. You never know who might want to put your head on the chopping block next.